Tomb raider underworld xbox 36011/1/2022 ![]() Of course, Tomb Raider plots have always been about mythological gibberish, and for good reason. If only you could play as the tigers sometimes. Which will help you reach the final resting place of King Arthur. So in Thailand you explore a Cambodian temple and climb a statue of a Hindu god, while on a quest to obtain a Norse artefact. There is an African-American character whose main job is to say things like "Dayamn, this is creepy!" and "What was that thang?" Mythologies are thrown into the mix any-old how, with little consideration for historical or archaeological fact. The opening cut-scene ends with the set-up for a twist, which you'll guess if you've ever played more than two videogames, or seen a film. For starters, there's the plot, from which you can expect a load of blather about some rusty old historical tat and Lara's dead Mum. Unfortunately, it's also delivered all the rubbish elements. With Tomb Raider: Underworld, Crystal Dynamics has kept its promise to deliver all the classic elements that made the original games so good. You can tell because of all the beautiful environments, clever puzzles, complex acrobatics and the moments you want to punch Lara Croft in the face until she's nothing more than a grotesque bloody stump atop a huge pair of tits. This one's prettier and shinier than ever, but it's still Tomb Raider. (Except Baywatch has been replaced by Deal or No Deal and every other statement includes the word "bevelled", but more on that later.) Yes, it's time for a new Tomb Raider game. ![]() How are you spending November 2008? I've spent it having conversations like that. ![]() YOU STUPID F****** BIG-TITTED B**** I HATE YOU I HATE YOU WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD." "Oh dear. What about those rocks over on the left? Can't she climb up those?" "No." "But she climbed up that other bit before." "I know. ![]() "Try jumping to that pillar over there." "I've tried that, it's too far." "Are you sure? It definitely looks like she could make that." "I know. How did you spend November 1998? I spent it having conversations like this. ![]()
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